Finally … Day 3
The day dawned beautifully again – like the other two days. On my way to work, I decided to fill up some petrol. The attendants were sloppy and there was a queue. Finally, when my turn came, the attendant directed me to come forward without paying attention to the soon-to-be-noticed fact that somebody’s toes were in the way. And so, I ran my rear tires on this poor guy’s toes. I was mortified. Fortunately, there had been no damage but the guy just yelled his head off! Naturally. He screamed at me, the attendant and the traffic department. Maybe some others too but I was just too embarrassed to pay attention. Soon I realized the apologies were only carried away by the wind and none had rested on him. I left the bunk after filling up. But those 10 minutes had been enough. I was suddenly gripped with an unreasonable fear. I had been in some kind of cocoon for over a year and I felt as though the protective covering had been ripped off. I felt vulnerable to the elements. It was not a nice feeling at all. I reached office in a daze and took some time to calm down. I got started with my day so I would not have to face the turbulence within me. Well, that was that. I had to take some quick decisions:
- I could not and would not succumb to the irrational fear of circumstances.
- Accidents are accidents and they do happen.
- People do yell at others in public but that’s because they (think they) have a reason to.
All in all, I did not have convincing reasons to give up anything – my driving or my life alone(away from my parents). I’ve decided to file away the past three days as experiences.
Well, that’s that. The days have been sweeter since then. I take less for granted. Yes, sometimes I feel that little thought popping up now and then trying to condemn me for having left the tap open, not double-checking about the bill payment or even trusting the petrol bunk attendant to direct me. But I’m learning to stomp that down and live free. Free from those little fears and worries that nibble away at our everyday happiness.
The anchor holds!
4 comments:
I have been reading through your blog & have really enjoyed it. I can not find your profile? Wishing you a very lovely day, Janie Marie
Hi Janie Marie! Thank you for visiting my blog. I could not help but smile when I read your profile and your blog. It was interesting to note that in a lot of ways we seem to speak the same language. :-)
Hope to hear from you again!
Yes, very much! Laughed at the water! I plugged up my bathroom sink one time, and forgot! But no one knew but me!! LOL Blessings, Janie Marie
Tell me about it! I wanted to face no one after that. And today it's become an adventure-of-sorts in home management. Just like how warriors show off their scars, I show off episodes like these. :-)
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